Medically the evaluation by Alana Biggers, M.D., MPH, specialty in inner medicine — composed by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst on in march 22, 2021

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You are watching: My girlfriend feels loose is she cheating

It’s like the story that Goldilocks and the search to find one it is jusssst right, only currently we’re talking vaginas instead of beds.

The id that a vagina deserve to be too loose — and the so-called factors why a person can be loose — go way back and, TBH, are all wrong.

Since approximately the 16th century, the word “loose” has actually been used to define women the so-called loose morals who cheat on their spouses.

Though we can’t say because that sure, the would appear that somewhere follow me the present the term began to it is in taken literally, producing this myth the cheating somehow equates to a loose vagina.

A absence of sex ed, jealousy and insecurity, and also perhaps a sprinkling the misogyny has kept this harmful — not to mention fully inaccurate — concept alive.

It’s ideal up there through the belief that virgins space “tight,” and it’s not true.

And there’s no such thing as ‘too loose’

As long as vagina is may be to carry out what it’s an alleged to carry out without bring about its owner any pain or discomfort, then it’s totally fine. That gets to decision what classifies together “too” anything, anyway?

Historically, reference to a loosened vagina has been offered as a means to shame human being for their sex lives. It no rooted in any type of fact or science.

If her partner’s vagina honestly and truly does ~feel~ loosened to you, that’s a issue of perception and also can occur for a couple of reasons. But that doesn’t typical that it’s actually bigger or looser compared to various other vaginas.

In fact, there yes, really isn’t such point as a ‘loose vagina’

Let’s begin with part Vagina 101. A vagina is a muscular canal, and also its tissue is elastic. Like super elastic and able to accommodate points coming in, favor a cock or a monster dildo, or comes out, like a baby.

Like other elastic tissue in your body, the vagina deserve to stretch when it demands to, and also then it bounces back.

Take your mouth, because that instance. Once you yawn or wrap your lips approximately a triple-decker burger, your lips snap earlier to their normal shape and size, right? exact same for a vagina.

The vagina is a muscle, and also it changes over time

When any type of muscle tenses and also relaxes, together muscles do, it have the right to make the muscle feel tighter or looser.

You can definitely feel this during sex with someone with a V, because the pelvic floor muscles relax v arousal, do the vagina more accommodating.

Once a who no longer aroused, the vagina bounces back to its original state. That doesn’t matter how regularly or tough it’s penetrated or how huge the penis/toy/fist it absorbs — the relaxation no permanent.

The just things that can affect the vagina’s elasticity are aging and childbirth, and the changes in tightness no drastic by any kind of stretch.

Vaginal elasticity starts to readjust in a person’s 40s, as soon as estrogen levels start to drop in perimenopause. Reduced estrogen reasons the vaginal tissue to get thinner and also drier, and also eventually much less stretchy.

As because that childbirth, of course the vagina’s going to adjust after a vaginal delivery. It just passed a baby v the birth canal and also out the vagina, FFS!

Any “looseness” will be many noticeable in the first couple of days after providing birth, but it’ll progressively return come its ahead state. It may not go to the OG form completely, and multiple births can result in a loss of a little bit of elasticity, but again, nothing too drastic.

If you someone who believes that a vagina that feels tight is a an excellent thing, gain ready to have your psychic blown.

A V can feel “tight,” once there’s absence of arousal or lubrication to rise its elasticity during sex.

This have the right to mean the your partner:

is uncomfortableisn’t as turned on as you areis distractedis managing anxiety, stress, or one more mental health conditionis suffering hormonal changes

All the these things — and aging, certain medications, and medical conditions — can also influence the manufacturing of vaginal lubricant for this reason they don’t obtain as wet together is needed.

The an outcome isn’t a vagina that’s physically smaller or tighter, though.

You’re simply feeling much more friction throughout penetration because there isn’t sufficient muscle be sure or lube to assist things along. BTW, even if you gain the feeling, the extra friction might be painful for her partner.

If your belief that your partner’s vagina is somehow too loose is affecting your relationship and also how friend feel around your companion in or the end of the bedroom, the time for part soul-searching to number out why.

It can be the you’re placing blame on your partner for something that you’re struggling with, even if it is you’ve well-known it yet or not.

Some possibilities to consider:

You’re anxious about your sexual performance.You’re unsatisfied v your sex life and also afraid to lug it up to your partner.You’re dealing with jealousy, resentment, or other negative feelings.

If any kind of of this ring true and you feel choose you need assist working v it, consider talking to a healthcare skilled or uncover a sex therapist or sexuality counselor through the American combination of Sex Educators, Counselors, and also Therapists directory.

There room things you have the right to do to rise sensation throughout sex if you and also your companion are both up because that it.

When happen it as much as your partner, protect against using any language that can be interpreted as shaming or blaming. Avoid pointed statements favor “having sex through you doesn’t feel good” or “you don’t feel tight enough.”

Added sensation is something you’ll both enjoy, so focus on the by saying points like:

“This place is claimed to boost sensation and feel yes, really good. Would you be open to do the efforts it?”“This toy’s supposed to feel amazing for couples. Need to we get it?”“I love it once we and also think it would certainly feel even much better if we… “

Now, let’s gain to means to increase the feels under there.

Try sex positions that create a tighter fit

Any place in i beg your pardon the vagina-having partner have the right to keep their legs with each other will produce a cozier space.

FYI: These also work fine for people with thin or smaller-than-average peens.

You can modify quite much any sex place this way for P-in-V or strap-on sex, or fisting, including standing, or lying face down or ago down.

Spooning and modified doggy style with knee together room goodies, too.

Consider anal

The anus is tighter 보다 the quality canal, and also butt play have the right to be very pleasurable because that both parties.

If you decision to offer it a try:

Try sex toys

There are plenty of toys to kick up the feels for both of you.

Purchasing any kind of of these should do the trick:

Having a partner tell friend you’re too loosened can be exceptionally hurtful and also a large blow to her self-confidence. Just know the there’s naught wrong through you, and the problem is theirs, no yours.

If your vagina’s elasticity has changed because that childbirth or aging, it’s completely normal.

Don’t feeling pressured to modify your body or try any sketchy quality tightening products, which could end increase doing much more harm than good.

It’s feasible your partner’s comment come from a place of ignorance that can be chalked as much as subpar sex ed or also their society or upbringing.

Educating lock by share medically accurate information re: the vagina and also how it works could put the id to rest. You could also have your partner accompany you come an appointment with a healthcare professional who can define it to them.

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If this doesn’t aid or they shot to push you into changing your human body for their benefit, it might be time to reassess her relationship.