EPIC RAP battles OF HISTORY!GEORGE R. R. MARTIN...VERSUS...J. R. R. TOLKEIN! BEGIN!Brace yourselves!Gather up her trolls and your soldier elves!And your Ents and also your orcs, and also your Wargs and also your Stings,Your dwarves and also Glamdrings, "cause there"s a brand-new literary lord in the Ring!My readers autumn in love through every character I"ve written!Then I death "em! (Aaaah!) and also they"re like, "No, he didn"t!"All your bad guys die and your great guys survive!We have the right to tell what"s gonna take place by page and also age five!Tell your all-seeing eye to uncover some sex in her movies! (Yeah!)Ditch the Goonie and cast a pair boobies!There"s edgier plots in that David the Gnome!Your hobbit-hole heroes can"t manage my throne!Kings, queens, dragons, dwarves,Horses, fortresses, magic, and also swords!You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack!You desire a war, George? Welcome come Shire-raq!In publication sales, you"ve acquired nothing come say!I"m number one and also two! You"re under Fifty Shades of Grey!I gained the prose of a pro! her shit"s subpar!You"re a pirate! You even stole mine "R. R."!(Oh!) we all know the world is complete of chance and anarchy!So, yes, it"s true to life for personalities to dice randomly,But newsflash: the genre"s dubbed fantasy!It"s meant to be unrealistic, you myopic manatee!I conscientiously thing to what you"re doing on this beats.I"ll reduced you prefer my this on Beauty and the Beast!You went as well deep, Professor Tweedpants!We don"t need the backstory ~ above every fuckin" tree branch!I reduced my teeth in the trenches of the Somme!You lugged her Santa Claus ass through Vietnam!Man, it"s tough for me to take criticism on clothesFrom a dude who sends a raven to say "hi" come his toes!Man, her fat jokes are worse 보다 your pipeline smoke!My show"s the hottest point on HBO!I"m absent "n" roll, you"re a nerdy tiny nebbishAnd I might be dirty, however you got a hairy-foot fetish, dog!Even the name of your personalities suck:You got Buffers, and Bofurs, and also Brandybucks!I got a 2nd breakfast for every them goofy fucks!Lift up mine gut, and also tea Baggins my nuts!C. S. Lewis and also I were just discussingHow you and Jon Snow... Both know nothing!Because the backstory the my crate office is billions!Got my youngsters making millions turn off my Silmarillions!And I"m more rock "n" roll 보다 you"ve ever been!Don"t believe me? asking Led Zeppelin!You can"t reach this fellow! Shit, I"m 2 Tower-ing!(Ooh!) Every time ns battle, it"s Return of the King!WHO WON?WHO"S NEXT!YOU DECIDE!EPIC RAP...!BAAAAAAAAAAAATTLES of HISTORY!!!

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